If you're like me, you're cheap - DAMN cheap. You're a smart player in Vegas, so your room is comped, your food is comped, and your entertainment is free. SO WHERE'S THE MONEY GOING? (well, besides into the casino's coffers, I mean) To those $20 cab rides! Or, you rent a car, spend 10 minutes trying to park it, walk 10 minutes to your room, fetch your kin, march them 10 minutes back to your car (if you remember where you parked it and what it looks like), risk everyone's life darting, lost, through the Las Vegas bumper car derby, locate your destination's parking garage, circle for another 10 minutes, walk to casino, and then discover that you could have WALKED there much faster. And don't EVEN get me started on the horrors of valet parking! There has to be a better way!
There is.
Free and/or cheap transportation abounds in Las Vegas, if you know where to look:

IN PRAISE OF BUSES
What follows may seem foolish to some, despite my previous tirade (see above). "We don't want to wait for shuttle buses! We want to be there NOW!" Sure, you say that now, but trust me, after a few hours of the Vegas Experience (a.k.a.: excessive overstimulation), you'll be ready to rest your blistering feet and your spinning head by letting someone who actually knows where they are going do the driving. Furthermore, as the shuttle bus drivers know the best routes (while you will foolishly try to drive on the strip), they will probably get there before you anyway. Also, bear in mind that drinks are free to all gamblers, and when's the last time you turned down a free drink? And what makes you think any of the other drivers are sober? So, take the bus, count your losses, lick your wounds, collect your thoughts, organize your coupons, and enjoy the world's most unique scenery. (And don't worry - all shuttles run both ways - you won't be stranded, unless you lose track of the time and miss the last one back!) Unless otherwise noted, all of the following are free (I usually tip the driver a dollar, but most people don't).

NOTE: Do not confuse the green strip trolleys (which usually have some casino's advertising on the side) with free shuttles. They cost $1.50.

DISCLAIMER: As the free shuttle buses are, after all, free, the casinos are under no real obligation to stick to their schedules, and the schedules can (and often do) change without notice. Sometimes, if the driver calls in sick, they simply don't run the shuttle that day! ALSO: pick-up places move around a lot. DO NOT take anything on this list for granted: ALWAYS ASK if you are waiting in the right spot and at the right time.


FROM THE AIRPORT One of the best kept secrets at McCarran International is that you don't have to take a cab, or pay for a shuttle to get to your hotel. It borders on conspiracy: you are herded to the cabs (2nd floor, north side, wait in long line to get a cab). If you ask, "Where do the free shuttles pick up at?", you will be informed that there ARE no free shuttles, and directed to the pay-shuttles (2nd floor, south side, a better option if there's only two of you and you're not in a hurry). Ignore all this cattle-herding: take the south elevator to the "Courtesy Shuttle" area (ground floor, south side), head for the west end, where two choices await:

1. CITY BUSES Don't expect them to let you on if you're dragging half your wardrobe in a massive set of luggage, but as long as you're not hauling TOO much, no problem. Basically, if you can carry it (not drag it), you're OK. For $1.25 you can take either the either the 108 or the 109. Take the 108 bus to the Hard Rock Casino (get off at the enormous guitar), and take their free shuttle to the MGM. From the MGM, you can go virtually anywhere (see below), except the north strip (except for the Stratosphere - see below) or downtown. If the Las Vegas Hilton or Downtown is your destination, just stay on the bus - it's about a 30 minute ride. If the north strip is where you want to be, take the 108 and get off at the LV Hilton (be warned that it's about a 15-minute hike from there) or at Sahara + Paradise (if you're staying at the Sahara), or at LV Boulevard (if you're staying at the Stratosphere). Take the 109 only if you are going downtown, and stay on it until the route ends at the bus station. The 108 picks up every half hour (on the hour and half hour), and the 109 picks up every 12 to 20 minutes. For $30, you can get an unlimited ride pass good for one month. Another option is to buy a bag of 40 Tokens for $20. These tokens are good until used, so they can never really be wasted. The only problem with them is that they won't save you any money if they are only used on the bus lines that run on the Strip. NOTE: All CAT buses are wheelchair-accessible. For schedule/route info, visit http://www.rtc.co.clark.nv.us/cat/cat.htm

2. FREE SHUTTLES Right next to the bus stop you will find courtesy shuttle buses to the Showboat, Vacation Village (need to call VV to assure its arrival, among others (these services come and go - check with the hotel and see if they currently have one) - if you wait a few minutes. Don't let the fact that you're not actually staying at these hotels deter you - if it's close to you destination, just hop aboard! (don't ask/don't tell) - remember - the casinos will do just about anything to get you to come to their place, and that's exactly what you're doing! When you get there, just walk into the casino, and then walk back out again (after you've pestered them for a funbook, of course).
UPDATE (10/98): All Station Casinos now offer free airport shuttles. Their schedules can be found at http://www.boulderstation.com/


MGM GRAND + NEIGHBORS: CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE
The irony of the MGM Grand is that is that it will take you 15 minutes to get from your room to the front door, but that once you get outside, you are (thanks to all the free transportation) about within 20 minutes of just about anywhere.
1. MONORAIL Located on the east side of the hotel (find the lobby, follow the signs through the gamut o' shops). Newcomers are always apprehensive about the monorail: Is the line long? (There IS no line). Is it really free? (yes) Do you have to wait a long time? (5 minutes, tops). I think it's because most people's previous experience with monorails is limited to the sweltering mobs at Disneyworld. No worries: this is your fastest, best way to get to Bally's and the middle strip. Service starts at 9:00 am.
2. STATION SHUTTLES NOTE: MGM has (temporarily?) kicked all shuttles off their lot (they're morons, that's why), so these shuttles now pick up at the north casino entrance of the Tropicana. Ask the driver if you've got the right bus - just because it says BOULDER STATION on the outside doesn't mean that it's not going to Palace Station. See STATION CASINOS, below, for schedules.
3. HARD ROCK NOTE: MGM has (temporarily?) kicked all shuttles off their lot (the MGM management noted that many of these people did not wipe their feet before entering their casino!) From 8am to 11pm, every hour to the Hard Rock, then to the Fashion Show Mall.
4. SAM'S TOWN Now picks up at the San Remo (because the MGM got tired of all those annoying customers trudging through their malls!?) at the rear of the hotel by pool, under black and white canopy. From Sams on the 15. First at 9:15am, last at 10:15pm. No skips. To Sams on the 45. First at 9:45am, last at 10:45pm. No skips.


BALLY'S/BOURBON STREET: IN THE MIDDLE OF IT
1. MONORAIL On the east side of Bally's. Follow signs toward the convention center, continue through the (inevitable) gamut o' shops. Goes to the MGM Grand (see above).
2. GOLD COAST The shuttle stop is on Flamingo Ave near the Barbary Coast's Parking garage entrance. There is no signage. Simply a bus-like cutout from the traffic lanes.
3. SAM'S TOWN Picks up on west side of Bourbon Street casino entrance, under canopy From Sams on the 45. First at 9:45am, last at 10:45pm. No skips. To Sams on the 15. First at 9:15am, last at 10:15pm. No skips.